


Touching

by ZRM



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23300875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZRM/pseuds/ZRM
Summary: Sirius didn't know sometimes touch was a good thing, but James Potter was determined to show him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	Touching

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story I have ever posted to here and I only wrote it because my best friend gave me the idea. I'm not actually sure how I feel about it. If it makes anything better it hurt me to write this.

The first time Sirius remembered someone touching him he was four and his mom slapped him across the face for talking back. Sirius didn’t know touch unless it was a slap or a shove or a punch when things went too far with his cousins. Sirius had never known touch unless he was being hurt.

To James Potter touch was a thing you did when you loved someone. A hug, bumping shoulders with friends in a hallway, all ways to show how much you care. Nobody had ever laid a hand on him that wasn’t loving. Nobody had ever tried to hurt him by touching him. He didn’t understand that sometimes touch could hurt.

First year on the train James noticed Sirius was different. After Snape left with Lily, James laughed and bumped Sirius’s shoulder with his. Sirius jumped and flinched.  
“Oh, sorry, Sirius. Mum always tells me I don’t know my own strength.”  
Sirius had laughed weakly, but James barely noticed it. After being sorted into Gryffindor together, James hugged Sirius, excited that him and his friend would get to stay together. Sirius tensed in his arms and James got the message. Don’t touch him. He smiled sheepishly at Sirius and ran his hand through his hair.  
“Sorry, mum always says I have a thing for hugging. I forget not everyone is a hugger.”

Sirius shrugged it off with a weak smile. When they got back to their room, two other boys had been sorted with them. James hugged the one called Remus and ruffled the one called Peter’s hair. The whole night he hung all over those two and didn’t think anything of it. He jumped onto Sirius’s bed where he was sitting and plopped down beside him throwing an arm around his shoulder. Sirius tensed.James got the message and moved away giving him a bit of space. They all continued to talk through the night. Peter was the first to fall asleep. James, however, couldn’t sleep. How could he when something was wrong with his best friend? He was up all night thinking about it. At first he thought maybe it was just him not knowing his own strength, but it seemed deeper than that. James barely slept an hour before having to get up for breakfast.

On their way to their first class, Snape cornered them. Sirius made a comment about his greasy hair and Snape practically growled at them before leaving. James put an arm around Sirius and Sirius flinched, tensed, and dropped his head like James was going to start yelling at him. Remus, Peter, and James exchanged a look of confusion.  
“What’s wrong Siri? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry.”  
Sirius shrugged his shoulders a bit to get James to let go of him and said it’s fine. He didn’t sound fine though. James was sure the other two noticed it too. After that James just watched Sirius. He was always okay until someone touched him. Whether it was just a shoulder bump or a hug or a high five. He was broken and James was determined to fix him. When Christmas rolled around, James thought it was the perfect time.

So they wrote to their parents and it was decided. Sirius just had to go home on Christmas day for the family party. James’s dad picked them up at King’s Cross and hugged them both with pats on their backs. James watched as Sirius tensed in his dad’s arms. He caught his dad’s eye as if to say see, fix him. When they got back to the Potter’s house, James’s mum hugged James before moving on to Sirius. James watched as Sirius tensed again.  
This time though, he seemed to start relaxing in his mum's arms. James looked at his dad and smiled. Maybe they would be able to fix his best friend. Through the next couple of weeks, James hugged Sirius and nudged him and cuddled up to him as much as possible. On Christmas Eve, Sirius sat almost right on top of James and complained about being cold before snuggling as close to James as possible.  
James smiled to himself. It had worked. They had fixed Sirius. His father brought Sirius home the next morning with the promise of picking him up the next day. James worried about his friend. If they had made it so that Sirius was afraid of touch that meant they hurt him. James didn’t like that at all. The next morning, he waited out on the porch for his father to arrive with Sirius. The minute the knight bus pulled up James was on his feet.  
Sirius jumped off and ran towards James and gave him a hug. They fell on the ground in a pile of giggles and play fights. James’s father told them they needed to get inside because it was going to start raining. They went in and sat in the sitting room on the couch talking. Sirius had his feet in James’s lap and James was talking a thousand miles a minute about how awesome of a Christmas he had.

When they went back to school, Sirius hugged Remus on the train and threw an arm around Peter’s shoulder in an awkward side hug. Remus raised an eyebrow at the situation but didn’t say anything. On the train, James fell asleep with his head on Sirius’s shoulder and Sirius fell asleep with his head on James’s head. The other two boys weren’t sure how it happened, but they didn’t hate that it did.  
“Re, can I sleep with you tonight? You’re always a lot warmer than me and I forgot my other blanket at Jamie’s. I already wrote to his mum and dad to send it to me but it won’t get back until at least tomorrow,” Sirius asked that night shocking them all.  
And really, who was Remus to tell Sirius no? That night Sirius spent the entire night curled into Remus’s side and it was the best Remus had slept in his entire night. Normally he got too hot at night and couldn’t sleep well, but Sirius was always colder than anyone else so that cooled Remus off at night. If Sirius never slept in his bed again after that night then whose business was it really?

Sirius could be caught walking in the hallways with his pinky linked with either Remus, James, or Peter’s. Those three boys were always touching after that. Whether it was just an arm around a shoulder or pinkies linked or feet in someone’s lap or falling asleep on each other or Sirius's favorite thing to do when Remus was angry, playing with each other’s hair.  
Those four boys were so close nobody noticed when Remus and Sirius started dating in their seventh year. All four of the boys touched each other constantly, so Remus and Sirius holding hands while walking through the hallways wasn’t much of a shock. They had been dating three months before someone saw them kissing and realized their touches were more than what touches were with the other boys. Their last train ride together, all four boys laid across each other.

The war was hard and Sirius and Remus broke up and started accusing each other of being a spy. James married Lily and Peter was MIA most of the time. Sirius didn’t feel right not touching someone every single day. When he was thrown in Azkaban, he stayed in dog form because the dementors didn’t affect him as much and he was warmer in dog form. He missed Remus and just wished he could tell Remus he was sorry and that it wasn’t him. He wasn’t the traitor.

Twelve years later when he escaped and met back up with Remus. He was terrified Remus would reject him in an effort to keep Harry “safe” and away from him. Hugging Remus was like a breath of fresh air and he didn’t want to let go. The next three years, he was with Remus as much as possible, touching in small discrete ways just like James, Peter, Remus, and him did back in school.

Remus watched Sirius fall thru the veil and he knew if Harry hadn't been there he would’ve run right in after him. His best friend was gone. All three of them. Remus hugged Harry as a means of holding him back, but also because there was no way he could go the rest of his life without touching. He hugged Harry like his life depended on it, because he wasn’t sure when he would get another hug.

Remus started getting closer to Tonks after Sirius fell through the veil and slowly but surely they started touching as much as he used to with the boys in school. Remus got so excited after coming to his senses about his son. His boy. He would protect that baby with his life. Before rushing into battle, he hugged Tonks and gave her a kiss. Little did he know that would be the last touch he ever felt.


End file.
